7 Oct

p.S. you all suck. Here maybe this will interest you.


Actual Newspaper Headlines







  1. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

  2. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

  3. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  4. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

  5. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

  6. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

  7. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

  8. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

  9. Farmer Bill Dies in House

  10. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

  11. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

  12. Stud Tires Out

  13. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

  14. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

  15. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

  16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

  17. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

  18. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

  19. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

  20. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

  21. If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

  22. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  23. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

  24. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

  25. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

  26. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  27. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

  28. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

  29. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

  30. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

  31. Include your Children when Baking Cookies

  32. War Dims Hope for Peace

  33. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

  34. Eye Drops off Shelf

  35. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

  36. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

  37. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

  38. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

  39. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

  40. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

  41. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

  42. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in 84

  43. Steals Clock, Faces Time

  44. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

  45. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

  46. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

  47. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

  48. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

  49. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

  50. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

  51. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

  52. Air Head Fired

  53. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

  54. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

 

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2 Responses to “”

  1. dumplingking October 8, 2005 at 2:46 AM #

    that was so amusing.

  2. CryBig_EmoTears October 14, 2005 at 11:30 AM #

    i like the last one..cuz its the only one i read! heh. just kidding!!!!
    thanks for the advice…haha
    ❤ Joy

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